Here’s the best collection of 150 coffee quotes. When you want to make your morning, a good morning, you definitely need these thoughtful, witty and funny coffee quotes. Be it a tough Monday, start it with these funny coffee quotes and your week will go smoothly! If you’re a coffee lover, totally share these quotes with your friends and family members on your Instagram, Facebook or Pinterest. It’s coffee time!

Coffee Quotes

1. But first, coffee. – Anonymous

2. You’re brew-tiful. – Anonymous

3. I love you a latte. – Anonymous

4. Death before decaf. – Anonymous

5. It’s coffee o’clock. – Anonymous

6. It’s always coffee time. – Anonymous

7. My blood type is coffee. – Anonymous

8. Coffee — a hug in a mug. – Anonymous

9. Drink coffee and do good. – Anonymous

10. Wanna hear a joke? Decaf. – Anonymous

11. Life happens. Coffee helps. – Anonymous

12. Coffee is my love language. – Anonymous

13. Coffee, and then the world. – Anonymous

14. Coffee, aka, survival juice. – Anonymous

15. Coffee is always a good idea. – Anonymous

16. Caffeine-The other Vitamin C. – Anonymous

17. Coffee is the best medicine. – Anonymous

18. My birthstone is a coffee bean. – Anonymous

19. Coffee. Creative lighter fluid. – Floyd Maxwell

20. Coffee is a language in itself. – Jackie Chan

21. Coffee, because adulting is hard. – Anonymous

22. I like big cups and I cannot lie. – Anonymous

23. Life is too short for bad coffee. – Anonymous

24. Good Coffee – Cheaper than Prozac! – Anonymous

25. Happiness is Jell-O when it wobbles. – Anonymous

26. I’ll take a coffee with my sunshine. – Anonymous

27. Coffee isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin. – Anonymous

28. An apron is just a cape on backwards. – Anonymous

29. A coffee a day keeps the grumpy away. – Anonymous

30. A yawn is a silent scream for coffee. – Anonymous

31. 7 days without coffee makes one WEAK. – Anonymous

32. All you need is love and more coffee. – Anonymous

33. Life is too short to drink bad coffee. – Anonymous

34. Caffeine isn’t a drug, it’s a vitamin. – Anonymous

35. Stressed, blessed, and coffee obsessed. – Anonymous

36. Coffee owns me, and I’m fine with that. – Anonymous

37. A morning without coffee is like sleep. – Anonymous

38. Life’s too short to drink cheap coffee. – Anonymous

39. The road to success is paved in coffee. – Anonymous

40. Coffee in England is just toasted milk. – Christopher Fry

41. Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? – Steven Wright

42. I never laugh until I’ve had my coffee. – Clark Gable

43. Coffee smells like magic and fairytales. – Anonymous

44. Coffee, because it’s too early for wine. – Anonymous

45. I can’t espresso how much you bean to me. – Anonymous

46. Today’s good mood is sponsored by coffee. – Anonymous

47. Coffee smells like freshly ground heaven. – Jessi Lane Adams

48. I like my coffee strong and my women weak. – Alexander Pappas

49. Given enough coffee I could rule the world. – Anonymous

50. Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. – Anonymous

51. May your coffee kick in before reality does. – Anonymous

52. Follow your heart, but take coffee with you. – Anonymous

53. Coffee! Is the planet shaking or is just me? – Anonymous

54. COFFEE.SYS Not Found: User startup disabled. – Anonymous

55. Happiness is a cup of coffee and a good book. – Anonymous

56. You can all come out now, I’ve had my coffee. – Anonymous

57. Caffeine – It maintains my sunny personality. – Anonymous

58. To drink is human. To drink coffee is divine. – Anonymous

59. Maybe she’s born with it. Maybe it’s caffeine. – Anonymous

60. I’m look for a tall, dark, rich cup of coffee. – Anonymous

61. Should I kill myself, or have a cup of coffee? – Albert Camus

62. I could serve coffee using my rear as a ledge. – Jennifer Lopez

63. Love is in the air, and it smells like coffee. – Anonymous

64. First I drink the coffee. Then I do the things. – Anonymous

65. Conscience keeps more people awake than coffee. – Anonymous

66. Coffee keeps me going until it’s time for wine. – Anonymous

67. I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. – Anonymous

68. All things are possible with coffee and mascara. – Anonymous

69. Coffee — my hot friend I was telling you about. – Anonymous

70. Coffee isn’t just a drink; it’s a cup of sanity. – Anonymous

71. I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee. – Terri Guillemets

72. Even bad coffee is better than no coffee at all. – David Lynch

73. Even bad coffee is better… than no Coffee at all. – David Lynch

74. What goes best with a cup of coffee? Another cup. – Henry Rollins

75. Doctors found traces of blood in my coffee stream. – Anonymous

76. Coffee, the favorite drink of the civilized world. – Thomas Jefferson

77. I don’t need an inspirational quote. I need coffee. – Anonymous

78. Drink coffee and pretend to know what you’re doing. – Anonymous

79. Coffee is the best thing to douse the sunrise with. – Terri Guillemets

80. Coffee, the finest organic suspension ever devised. – Star Trek: Voyager

81. I would rather suffer with coffee than be senseless. – Napoleon Bonaparte

82. There’s nothing sweeter than a cup of bitter coffee. – Rian Aditia

83. I judge a restaurant by the bread and by the coffee. – Burt Lancaster

84. What do you want? Just coffee. Black – like my soul. – Anonymous

85. I would rather suffer from coffee than be senseless. – Napoleon Bonaparte

86. Food tastes better when you eat it with your friends. – Anonymous

87. Coffee makes us severe, and grave, and philosophical. – Jonathan Swift, 1722

88. What do you want?… Just Coffee. Black – like my soul. – Cassandra Clare

89. I’m holding a cup of coffee, so yeah, I’m pretty busy. – Anonymous

90. Decaf? No, it’s dangerous to dilute my caffeine stream. – Anonymous

91. Drink coffee! Do Stupid Things Faster with More Energy. – Anonymous

92. I think if I were a woman I’d wear coffee as a perfume. – John Van Druten

93. Did I run out of caffeine or are you really that boring? – Anonymous

94. I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup. – Eddie Izzard

95. Decaffeinated coffee is kind of like kissing your sister. – Bob Irwin

96. I think ‘lunch’ is one of the funniest words in the world. – Anonymous

97. Deja Brew: The feeling that you’ve had this coffee before. – Anonymous

98. Coffee with a friend is like capturing happiness in a cup. – Anonymous

99. Coffee is a beverage that puts one to sleep when not drank. – Alphonse Allais

100. Put your hair up in a bun, drink some coffee, and handle it. – Anonymous

101. My body is just a filter. Coffee goes in, sarcasm comes out. – Anonymous

102. I like my coffee with cream and my literature with optimism. – Pemberley by the Sea

103. Drink Coffee. Do stupid things even faster with more energy. – Anonymous

104. Depresso: The feeling you get when you’ve run out of coffee. – Anonymous

105. I don’t know how people live without coffee, I really don’t. – Martha Quinn

106. This house runs on love, laughter and a whole lot of coffee. – Anonymous

107. A day without coffee is like… just kidding. I have no idea. – Anonymous

108. A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems. – Paul Erdos

109. Adventure in life is good… consistency in Coffee even better. – Justina Headley

110. This coffee tastes like mud! Well, it was ground this morning. – Anonymous

111. Politics now is rather like going into Starbucks for a coffee. – Rory Bremner

112. Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what’s for lunch. – Orson Welles

113. The only thing I like better than talking about food is eating. – John Walter

114. Coffee – it’s the lifeblood that fuels the dreams of champions! – Mike Ditka

115. Don’t underestimate the power of coffee and a girl with a dream. – Anonymous

116. Behind every successful woman is a substantial amount of coffee. – Stephanie Piro

117. Never Underestimate the Importance of Being Properly Caffeinated. – Anonymous

118. I don’t know what I’d do without coffee. I’m guessing 25 to life. – Anonymous

119. Black as the devil, hot as hell, pure as an angel, sweet as love. – Charles Maurice de Talleyrand

120. Sometimes, I think can do anything. Then the coffee stops working. – Anonymous

121. My coffee machine is the most beautiful person in the world to me. – Anonymous

122. I don’t have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without it. – Anonymous

123. Coffee should be black as Hell, strong as death, and sweet as love. – Anonymous

124. If it wasn’t for coffee, I’d have no discernible personality at all. – David Letterman

125. How far behind would technology be, if no one ever discovered coffee? – Anonymous

126. Once you wake up and smell the coffee, it’s hard to go back to sleep. – Fran Drescher

127. Drinking beer in a coffee mug. I feel like I am cheating on my coffee. – Anonymous

128. Forever: Time it takes to brew the first pot of coffee in the morning. – Anonymous

129. There is no live without water. Because water is needed to make coffee. – Anonymous

130. You can’t buy happiness but you can buy coffee and that’s pretty close. – Anonymous

131. 2No matter what historians claimed, BC really stood for ‘before coffee.’ – Cherise Sinclair

132. To me, the smell of fresh-made coffee is one of the greatest inventions. – Hugh Jackman

133. I never drink coffee at lunch. I find it keeps me awake for the afternoon. – Ronald Reagan

134. Everybody should believe in something. I believe I’ll have another coffee. – Anonymous

135. Everyone should believe in something. I believe I will have another coffee. – Anonymous

136. No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee’s frothy goodness. – Sheik Abd-al-Kabir

137. Sometimes I stay up so late that I have my morning coffee before I go to bed. – Anonymous

138. A cup of coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent. – Anonymous

139. If it weren’t for the coffee, I’d have no identifiable personality whatsoever. – David Letterman

140. What on earth could be more luxurious than a sofa, a book, and a cup of coffee. – Anthony Trollope

141. It’s amazing how the world begins to change through the eyes of a cup of coffee. – Donna A. Favors

142. Our culture runs on coffee and gasoline, the first often tasting like the second. – Edward Abbey

143. Coffee is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your older self. – Terry Pratchett

144. The first cup is for the guest, the second for enjoyment, the third for the sword. – Old Arabic Saying

145. A cup of gourmet coffee shared with a friend is happiness tasted and time well spent. – Anonymous

146. Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

147. Decaffeinated coffee is like a hairless cat, it exists, but that doesn’t make it right. – Anonymous

148. The powers of a man’s mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he drank. – Sir James MacKintosh

149. Compared to Clinton, I feel like a loser. I can’t even get the intern to make me coffee! – David Letterman

150. People say money can’t buy happiness. They Lie. Money buys Coffee, Coffee makes Me Happy! – Anonymous